and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
