I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
