can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
