So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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