she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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