he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
