He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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