whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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