his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
sex in a hospital.. check
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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