Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
