I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
