Christians are straight up FREAKS
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
