it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
