like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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