After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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