Swine flu. Run for my life!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize