No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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