Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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