The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
