I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
