I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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