The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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