Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
