I'm really into asian looking animals
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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