I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
