My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
