I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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