marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
