I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
