If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
