i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize