i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
