Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
