i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
