took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
