So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
