I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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