This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
