I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Is it because I queefed?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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