I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
