I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
