I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
