ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
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