Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
