His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
