C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
