So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize