I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
