it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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