Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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