Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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