My pussy is not your playground.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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