So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
