This is not my ceiling
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
