I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
