so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
