i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It was confusing and full of hummus
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
