FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
