i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize