my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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