peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
