I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
