He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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