Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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