At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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